If I ruled the world, "there'd be music, sweet music, there'd be music everywhere".

They forget to make me the ruler of the world, but they will soon remember to do so. I'm sure.

Why? Because I would put music in the workplace. Make that will. And it would not be just stupid elevator music. I'm going to insist and encourage that Pod and related devices and satellite music and music of the planets and a planetarium is included in the cafeteria with shows continually in the workplace.

OK, not insist, because that would discriminate against music haters. But they could have News of the Weird or Grouch Anonymous or whatever tickled their fancy. It would be imperative to have their fancy tickled.

I know, I know, people will say that will cut production, causing people to goof off and not get their work done. Poppycock. Walrus gumboot.

Things are not exactly bodelicious right now. People have some issues about the workplace. As if a happy worker is in need of some discipline because everyone knows that a work environment must be rigid and unyielding and definitely not fun or enjoyable or even endurable.

Managers are hired and promoted on their ability to ramrod the help, avert their uprisings, quell their dispositions, snuff their foments, stamp out their lunch clubs and various other managerial skills, turn off their sex machines, squelch their woofers, warp their tweeters. Take the rock out of their rock out. Scissors cut paper and take out those ear buds now or you will be fired.

After lunch, and this is sans music, the staff quietly bend over their PCs like drugged prairie dogs or like the entire castle full of people in Sleeping Beauty and quietly slip into some type of trance state. Do you call that productive? How could music cause any less productivity?

The only flaw in the design plan would be if your ears had implant transponders or a type of broadcasting unit, while others, unknown to you, had receivers in their ears, and "your" brand of music makes them crazy. But, that's crazy. Stop the craziness. There is no need to return to the drawing board. Let's get the lead out. Let's get the rocks out.

My theory is that people suffer from lack of jolly and forbidden be-bop from not getting to rock out at work, and in some cases, not getting to rock out ever.

You can guess I'm not from Gen X, possibly not even from this planet if you can believe some of the talk that goes on, but that's another subject.

The filling station where I gas up has some of the peppiest music around. Maybe it's targeted to people with gas cards, but whatever. I look forward to going there. As soon as I step out of the car I can feel my brain function change to relaxed and happier.

OK, it's a crazy dream. Have fun, enjoy work, be more creative...at work? Is this some kind of interstellar galactic plot?

No.